To Love


There is something magical about finding when I didn’t seek

A discovery so serendipitous, I start to question myself

“Where were you my whole life?”

A discovery so pure and simple, I can’t help but wonder

“How is it that you were there the whole time?”

Such a discovery happened and it made me realize

I can start again, to learn to love again

I can trust and be secure again, be someone I like again


I know I will fail and disappoint, again and again

The pathways of my life that led me to you have been tainted

The scars and baggage, some may be unfathomable

They make me fear for you


You have taught me what loving means

The rollercoaster is something we’re in

That you have faith in us

Which means I do too.



Patrick Aditya Sitanggang

I tend to write about once a month or every two months. Bear with me. Follow me on IG @aditbatak or on Twitter/X @alsopadraic.